Caring Kind was not caring or kind to me

THE REASON GIVEN BY THE PROGRAM DIRECTOR OF CARING KIND, THAT I WAS NOT GOING TO BE ACCEPTED INTO THE SUPPORT OR MEMORY GROUPS, WAS THAT I AM TOO FUNCTIONAL. SHE SAID BECAUSE I CAN USE A MOBILE PHONE AND A COMPUTER. IT MIGHT INTIMIDATE SOMEONE WHO CAN’T READ OR WRITE, OR USE A PHONE.

SHE CALLED IT HER “CLINICAL ASSESSMENT”.

I WAS SO HURT THAT I WENT INTO OVERDRIVE, INSTEAD OF WALKING OUT OF THE BUILDING AT THE LOBBY, I WALKED UP THE BACK RAMP TO AN OUTSIDE/ INSIDE DEAD END. I WANTED TO CRY. INSTEAD, I TURNED AROUND TO WALK THE STREET IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION FROM THE CAR. CALLED MY DAUGHTER. SAT ON A STOOP, NEAR GRAND CENTRAL STATION, AND WAILED TO HER. SHE TALKED ME OFF THE LEDGE.

CARING KIND WAS MEAN. IT IS A BIG DEAL TO RECEIVE A REJECTION LIKE THIS FROM THE ORGANIZATION THAT REPLACED THE ALZHEIMER’S ASSOCIATION IN NEW YORK.

I WAS LED ON FOR 9 MONTHS THAT I WAS WAIT LISTED.

I  ENDED UP BEGGING HER. BUT THE MORE I BEGGED THE WORSE IT GOT. I SAID, “ALLOW ME TO BE IN THE CHORUS, AS YOU HAD OFFERED THAT”. SHE RESCINDED THAT TOO.

MY SPIRIT WAS HUMBLE.

AM I AN UNTOUCHABLE?

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EVERY HUMAN WANTS TO BE LOVED AND ACCEPTED.

I AM HUMAN.

I AM A WOMAN WITH YOUNG ONSET ALZHEIMER’S DISEASE.

I AM VERY TROUBLED BY WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME.

THERE ARE NO SUPPORT GROUPS FOR EARLY ONSET ALZHEIMER’S IN THIS AREA. IN NEW YORK THERE IS CARING KIND.

I CALLED THE ALZHEIMER’S ASSN. AND WAS TOLD THE CLOSEST SUPPORT GROUPS ARE 2 HOURS AWAY IN WESTCHESTER. NOTHING IN NEW YORK. I DO NOT DRIVE AND CAN’T TAKE PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION ALONE (ONE OF THE THINGS I HAVE LOST THE ABILITY TO DO ALONE).

MY QUESTION TO CARING KIND IS WHY WOULD YOU NOT ACCEPT ME? ALLOW ME TO EXPRESS MYSELF WHILE I CAN,  OFFER FRIENDSHIP. UNDERSTANDING.

WHY WOULD YOU REFUSE TO DO THAT FOR A WOMAN WITH EARLY ONSET ALZHEIMER’S DISEASE?

THE PROGRAM DIRECTOR SAID NO.

GO AWAY.

 

 

3 thoughts on “Caring Kind was not caring or kind to me

  1. I’m sorry you were rejected. Our Caregiving Support Group accepts everyone. We were asked to leave an organization because we didn’t fit with their guidelines regarding this. We believe that anyone who reaches out for help should fit in, so when a person with early-onset wasn’t served by their organization we invited him to attend. If you were in our area we would be delighted for you to come and share with us. I’m reading your blog so I can learn more from your perspective, which has great value. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with all of us. Deborah

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  2. Deborah, If only organizations like Caring Kind (in particular the program director Lauren Volkmer) were as enlightened as you are. That is one of the reasons I write the blog. To increase awareness, that younger onset people who can still use a computer and phone and retain insight and some abilities- don’t fall through the cracks- as I have with being rejected from Caring Kind. New York City of all places, seems to be the least “caring”, when it comes to serving caregivers and people with dementia. Sin city.

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